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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I'm In Love.

I’m desperately, crazily and hopelessly in love with a handsome man with laughing eyes and a shy smile that makes my heart leap when I see it. As his hands take mine I feel completely vulnerable yet empowered, knowing I can do anything and he’ll be there, just in case. We dance in the streets at night, illuminated only by each streetlamp as we slowly waltz under it, moving to the sound of our laughter. We take walks by the water, never with a destination, enjoying each other’s company; and that’s it. Our conversations last until 4 am, when we realize we need to get up in 2 hours, but continue talking for another hour because we love to hear the sound of each other’s voices. Every time I see him I fall in love with him all over again. His voice makes my knees weak, and his very touch sends shivers down my spine. When I’m with him I am more myself than ever before, and feel totally and utterly whole. He completes me...

and I await the day we meet.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Reach Out And Grasp Nothing But Air

A thought repeatedly occurs to me. Every night, as I drift off to sleep. This thought floats about my brain, tainting my mind. However, when I reach out to grab it, it recedes; escaping my clutch and disappearing into the night. I can never quite tell exactly what it is. Yet it is there, night after night. Teasing me with its persistence. Taunting me, as if it is something of great importance that I cannot grasp. I do not know how to rid myself of it, nor do I know how I would go about doing so. I do know however, that it always leaves me with a feeling of anxiety. It brings with it an uneasy feeling that I cannot rid myself of, as long as this thought is in the vicinity of my skull. I get a queasy feeling in my stomach, and my brain starts to shout. My stomach churns as I begin to hyperventilate. My head starts to hurt as I frantically reach for the thought. Yet the further I reach, the further it withdraws into the back of my mind. I am left feeling extremely agitated and nervous. However, with the thought gone, I am not sure why. I rack my brain, searching for the cause, but it is nowhere to be found. It is hiding somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, awaiting another time it can come out and haunt my psyche.

Absolutely Nothing

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed alot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed alot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

Transparent Duct Tape

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I'm In Love.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Reach Out And Grasp Nothing But Air

About Me

Absolutely Nothing

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